Reminiscence
by Riomi Subarashii
Summary: The time has come for Kaede to pass, but there is a lingering qualm in her heart and the wind wishes to know her dying secrets. She tells it willingly about her lost loves and the lonely days of her youth.
1. Reminiscence

**Title:** Reminiscence 

**Author:** Riomi 

**Pairing:** Kaede/? 

**Summary:** The time has come for Kaede to pass, but there is a lingering qualm in her heart and the wind wishes to know her dying secrets. She tells it willingly about her lost loves and the lonely days of her youth. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the characters mentioned within this fic. They belong to their creator who is, Rumiko Takahashi. 

**Prologue**

The strong winter wind burned the aged flesh of her face. Wisps of her thin white hair danced about the creases and wrinkles of her features. The old tattered eye-patch trembled in the gusts, threatening to reveal the long healed 54 year-old scar that was now a mere hollowed crevice.

On this day she greeted nature without regret. She left her hair unbound, her bow untouched and fire unkindled. It was the winds early whisper that roused her from slumber and its icy hands that took hers and led her to a remote hilltop. There she remained its silent company, soon to be joined by its brother clouds and sister snow. She gave them all silent regard.

Soon she, _herself_, would become one with nature's children. Likely with the wind, she could already feel its breath in the hollow of her bones, working its way whole.

She didn't mind, the feeling was welcome and they never brought her trouble, so why work against it?

She lived a long life, longer than she could have ever asked for. And the single eye she had had seen many. Yes Kami-sama had blessed her with many years, many friends and many adventures.

Though her heart would go to rest vacant of the love that she witnessed shared between almost all she knew.

She observed the love between her elder sister and the hanyou, even watched it end only to be rekindled with her reincarnate. The demon exterminator and monk were entertaining to watch, their love was always there for each other but took time to be realized. Even the little kit found his match with a young neko youkai they seemed inseparable now.

A pang in her heart made her groan. Was it nostalgia? Jealousy? Perhaps both. Either emotion was accepted with bitter repute.

Did she ever experience that love that so many shared?

A flake of snow took refuge at the crease of her remaining eye only to be melted by a heated stray tear.

She did have that love, but it was so long ago that it became disregarded and faint. _Hardly a memory._

The wind lightened and caressed her cheek in a soothing manner as if sensing the woe of her soul.

"Worry not about me, Sister Wind." she recited, her voice wavered with threat of more tears.

How long had it been since she last cried? Truly wailed without remorse? Twas' the days of her youth, that it was. When her sister first lay on her fiery grave, not one whine or tear was spared.

In the end she didn't feel empty as expected, she actually felt refreshed and full. Just knowing she loved someone enough to mourn his or her death made the passing somewhat easier.

Her eye peered a patch of uncovered grass, the elemental company seem to have concentrated on it specifically; it remained uncoated by the fallen flurries and unfrosted by the crisp wind.

She watched the green tufts, in mild amazement, fold into a kanji she heard commanded many if times in amusement: _suwaru_. She glanced at the brother clouds and whispered, "Gladly."

With an aged elegance all her own she settled on the inviting clearance.

It was then she realized why the wind called forth her presence, why the thoughts of lost love tremor her heart and why thoughts of such plagued her mind at all.

It was time for her final look back. The wind wished to know about that look and what she saw.

The snow drifted far from her position, not one frozen drop landed on the rough fabric of her red and white garb. She enjoyed it when it cooled her warm flesh moments ago, "I will tell, if ye let the snow comfort me with it's company." she compromised, knowing the wind carried every word and heard.

Then she felt one flake landed and melted on her cheek then another and another only to be met with more tears.

"Aye..." she began, "it brings me back to my first memory..."

****

**Author's Note:**_ I thought it's about time we shed some light on Kaede's past and maybe whatever love she had, I want feedback to see how people take this. The next chapter shall consist of her first love and lost. **No character will be original that gets paired with her.** Many will be surprised with who I put her with I'm sure. **This is not AU either.** Please review._

**Riomi**


	2. A Frozen Memory

**Title:** Reminiscence

**Author:** Riomi

**Email:** Kaede?

**Summary:** This chapter contains Kaede's first memory of her first love in youth...grin (Part One of her first Encounter)

**A Frozen Memory**

"Kaede, your bow needs to be higher," the village miko instructed a teenage Kaede.

Kaede raised her bow and arrow higher but her position trembled, the wind was frightfully strong and her target swayed in and out of concealment of the heavy sheets of snow.

Her training was fierce and her trainer was even fiercer, but with good reason. She was soon to take position of head miko.

Six years had blown by since the irrevocable death of her dear sister Kikyou and still she required tireless training for becoming a spiritual priestess. If Kikyou had survived she wouldn't have had to train for such, instead she would have been betrothed to a nice village boy or even with his child by now but this wasn't the case at all.

No boy was even allowed to look her way and if one were able to steal a glimpse, it would be likely that they wished to return it with urgency. She didn't attain the beauty that Kikyou received from their late mother or the horrid scar that remained hidden behind an even more horrendous patch diminished at least what beauty she did have.

In her training to replace her sister she quickly learned that her purity was essential since she didn't harbor natural miko energy like her sister had. So no boy to be betrothed to and certainly no carrying of children were within her reach.

That seemed to ignite a burning resentment in her heart for her _dear_ sister.

Kikyou, who had the beauty, the powers and even love of another before death. Now that she was gone Kaede was left to _barely live_ in her shadow. A shadow that was overbearing and chilled her blood with a loneliness all her own.

"Kaede," her trainer's voice was stern yet cracked with age, "This will be your last winter as my student, when the first tulip of spring blooms I would have passed,"

Kaede listened carefully, though her focus wavered back and forth between her teachers' words and her own concentration to remain in an acceptable stance with her weapon.

"I would like to die knowing that you succeeded as my student," Kaede's single eye squinted under the assault of the harsh winter wind and pelting stones of ice, all she could see was a blur of the wooden fixture that was her target. Her teachers' words continued, "Though that will remain impossible in my mind if you continue your work so poorly,"

She pulled the taunt strand of her bow, with the sharp arrowhead tight in her fingers, the stretching horsehair sounded as if in protest or agony of being pulled. She held it still and waited until she could get a view of her target.

The words didn't stop.

"Lady Kikyou was a master archer; she would have been disappointed in your lack of ta-"

The words finally stopped. Cut short by the thin whistle of the arrow piercing the wind and the thick knock of it penetrating its destination.

Kaede grinned in triumph deceiving the inner shame she felt for feeding on the resentment she kindled when her _dear_ sister was mentioned.

"V-very good, Kaede," the dry old voice took a tone of surprise maybe even disbelief.

"Thank you, Netamuko-sama," she responded with an eerie satisfaction.

Netamuko looked at her with her jaw slightly dropped but her eyes slanted in suspicion.

Kaede only gazed at her with a still squinted cinnamon eye and soft smile. Out of habit, she reached into her quiver for another arrow; her teachers' wrinkled hand touched her firm young wrist and stopped her.

"That will be all child. Go back to your hut and sleep. We will continue at first light."

"Hai, Netamuko-sama," she replied obediently. Slinging the quiver over shoulder and clenching the bow in her fist, she began up the short hill but not before hearing her teacher's final comment.

"Pray to Kami-sama to give your sister extra blessings for letting her soul guide your last arrow. One swift as that could only be possessed by the spirits," her phrasing stabbed the heart of Kaede, and her voice was in all believing of her actual theory.

Kaede turned toward her only to face her retreating back. The single eye that bore use watered with tears of wounded pride. Why was it her sister's spirit that guided her arrow? Why couldn't it have been her own that sent it on flight?

She tucked the comment deep away in the darkest place of her heart, where the other Kikyou comparisons were settled.

She watched her instructor's figure fade away within the swarm of unrelenting snow. The wind howled and blew Kaede's raven hair loose from its bonds, it flushed her cheeks and she turned away from its assault.

It was only the first month of winter and already the snow coated the land evenly to her knees. She walked in awkward balance up the slope occasionally using her bow as a brace. When she reached the peak and scanned her humble village something compelled her to look back. Not at the bitter instructor but farther down, over the looming trees and passed the small patched of clearing.

As she did so the weight of wind lightened and the pelt of snow softened. The scenery from her perch was breathtaking. The scattered treetops blanketed with snow, the clouds breaking away to unveil the moonless night and bright stars.

Though that's not what stole her breath, it was the sacred tree farthest north that held her eye captive. It shed a light brighter than ever before. Glowing so brightly it looked like the moon took refuge below.

All knew that the Goshinboku emitted an unworldly glow for those blessed with the gift of miko energy; it all of course came from the arrow that her sister shot threw her hanyou lover, Inuyasha.

Kaede had always been able to see the faintest light there but tonight it was the brightest she had every seen.

She glanced back down at Netamuko's direction; she was retrieving the discarded arrows, then she looked back at the eye-catching light.

She was filled with nothing but curiosity even at sixteen the age of womanhood it was almost childlike. It was a good feeling of curiosity; it made her forget the offhand insult and other qualms that somehow involved her deceased sister.

Her feet took motion on their own accord and she scouted through the snow with a determined grace. Her eye was fixed on the massive glow, she just had to know what made it glow like so. She felt like a moth, attracted to a glorious thing such as light.

She was keen enough to avoid being seen by Netamuko and wandered around her area. The snow that layered on the ground was soft so her movements were silent, catlike.

Clutching the opening of her thick wool kimono closed tighter and using her bow as an unneeded cane, she rounded aged trees and stepped over bulging roots that were thick and protruded over the snow, like frozen snakes with scales of ice.

The brilliant light grew brighter to a blinding shine as she edged closer to the sacred tree. As she neared a low mumble could be heard. She slowed down right before was face to face with the one that mumbled, that seemed to next to the tree she took refuge behind, which was a frosted oak.

Cautiously peeking around her sanctuary she witnessed a scene that could only strike her as... well, _odd_.

She expected to see a hanyou Inuyasha pinned to the large tree by an enchanted arrow that keep his slumber long and unbroken. But she didn't.

She observed a young human boy in his place, his hair as black as the midnight sky and his nails as stubby as any of the village's workers'. She was sure if his eyes were to open they wouldn't reveal the stunning gold she once saw a few short years ago. And the arrow that was embedded deeply in his chest seemed to be surrounded by a sea of crimson in contrast with the solid red that colored his garments; it seeped like a fresh wound.

She would have stepped forward to free the human boy that greatly resembled the sacred tree's previous prisoner, but a large orb of a barrier surrounded his form along with another that sat on a highly arched root, his back to the perceived imposter. He was the mumbler.

"How could master have me do such a menial task? He certainly couldn't truly care about this brats well being!" his voice was seemingly young maybe a few winters older than herself but she knew better.

The second being's hair held a color of garnish green and his skin wasn't pale or tanned, it has more of a wheaten gold tone. He looked like if he stood he might tower a few centimeters above her. On top of his odd colored shoulder length hair a black cloth hat was strapped to his head.

Tight in his grasp, he held a staff, two human heads merged together, male and female, seemed to grow at the top. His eyes which were fixed carelessly elsewhere, were golden hued with a reptilian glint and he was dressed in brown common robes.

Her trained miko eye could see a faint demonic aura surround him. He was all demon but hardly a threat, though why was he there within a mysterious eye-catching barrier with... a human that took a dangerous hanyou's place?

Keeping behind her tree she lifted her bow and poised it at the edge of the barrier. Squeezing her eye shut, she prepared herself for an unwelcome jolt and jabbed her bow through the barrier. To her surprise she felt her weapon pass through it, like a spoon into a liquid, instead of a jolt there was warmth, an inviting warmth.

She slowly opened her eye and witnessed no disturbance in the demon's ranting and she took that as motive to bring herself through the tepid bubble. She did it silently, careful not to draw attention to herself. She wanted to investigate a bit further before she was found out.

"Once a month for eternity? I should have listened to mother and become a simple ferry man," the reptilian-like demon brooded oblivious to Kaede's nearing form.

Her chocolate hued eye was fixed on the human figure pinned to the tree. He looked like nothing but a human double of the hanyou that should be there, but that couldn't be possible. Could it?

She felt that she surveyed enough and opened her mouth to finally interrupt the minor demon's looping complaints.

"Who are ye and what are ye doing this human?" he voice was stern and caused the demon to spring nearly 3 feet in the air and the staff to slip from his fingers. As he clumsily regained possession of it, she stepped back and drew her weapon, just in case he decided to attack.

"How did you get here?" he exclaimed, his eyes wide and tone high from surprise and wavy from something Kaede could place closest to fear.

She thought about his question for a moment. How **did** she pass through the barrier? She _had_ expected it to hurt somehow but it didn't and here she was. Though she did not want this demon knowing her lack of explanation.

"I am a Miko, explain yerself," was the first thing to come to mind and leave her mouth, her back straightened almost in pride by how good her quick thinking turned out, even if it was a half lie. Kami would forgive her.

"A-a-a Miko! Stay back!" it was evident her bluff worked but his reaction was so pathetic it humored her to the point of emitting a giggle. He didn't take that too well.

It was clear by his expression that he took offense and his fear somewhat simmered, "You dare find humor in Jaken, second in command to **the** Lord Sesshoumaru of the Western Lands?" his eyes slanted with anger, it was apparent she hit a nerve and if what he said was true she could find herself in **big** trouble.

As far as she knew Sesshoumaru was one of the fiercest and merciless demons known in Japan _and_ he just happened to be related to the boy that should have been pinned to the tree. If she remembered from her sister's infatuated ramblings well enough, he was his _half_ brother. But she had never heard of this Jaken fellow.

Regaining her serious expression she referred back to the human boy by notching her still poised bow and arrow towards his form, "Who is that boy and where is the hanyou that rightfully belongs there,"

His eyes gained a confused fog in effect of her sudden change of subject and when he glanced at the sharp edge of her arrowhead, that gave a trembling shimmer from the reflection of his _pointless_ barrier, the declaration of being second in command to a powerful demon seemed just as useless and his fear returned.

"Listen M-miko," he stuttered, "This Jaken is only following strict orders and..." he pointed the head of his staff to the human's lifeless form, "... that is the hanyou you speak of." Then his reptilian-like eyes scaled his surroundings as if expecting something or _someone_ to jump out and rip out his innards...

"Don't play games; that boy is clearly human and all know of **the** Inuyasha's fair colored hair," she notched her arrow back as if ready to release but she didn't do so due to an identifiable sense of compassion for him. He had yet to make himself known as a threat and she kind of felt sorry for him.

From the looks of it he looked and acted as a simple servant. The way he addressed himself and the way the simplest gesture she made for attack filled him with instant timidity, gave her reasons for her theory. Though there was something about else about him that triggered her mercy.

Jaken made a sound close to something that could only be explained as croak and his lips thinned as if she offended him once more.

"You can't possible be a miko you know not of a hanyou's moon cycle. This boy is very much Inuyasha, second son to the late Inu no Taisho and tainted by the human woman _Izayoi_," the female name was spoken bitterly, making it clear he held high resentment for her.

Kaede recoiled and lowered her bow but her curiosity had peaked, he held knowledge that she seemed inept in, so she remained where she stood with a slackened guard and little defense. "Explain such then, will ye?"

He seemed more than willing to school her or was it flaunt his advancement in philosophy, he looked the type.

"A hanyou loses its demonic energy and feature on a certain lapse of the moon, this brat just happens to turn on a moonless night every month. Take note of his appearance, he has no claws, no fangs and none of those distasteful canine ears.

"If you look close you will see the wound left by that menacing arrow, leak with fresh blood, that is only because his human form is very much vulnerable and his body sees that injury as new every month, once a month," he finished with a snide grunt and looked at her as if she ranked much lower than himself.

She glanced at _Inuyasha_ again, she had to admit he looked just like a human version of the hanyou, whose image was pinned to her memory much like he to the tree. Though, she still had questions.

"What is yer purpose for being here then?"

He seemed to have relaxed a bit much like her, so instead of answering her question he gave his own, "Who is asking?"

She was caught off guard by his reply but answered compliantly, "Kaede... sister of _Kikyou_," she hoped the use of her sister's name would make him lose the superior glint in his eyes and know his place as a demon to a demon.

"The Kikyou who did this?" he made a gesture towards the boy again. She nodded waiting for the fear to fill his eyes once more, but it never came.

"Bah, that wench was claimed to have formidable power that could match Midoriko's but she let herself be killed by this **half-breed** and failed in ending his worthless existence. That brat is merely asleep though he may never waken if Kami wills it."

Kaede didn't know whether to strike him for speaking ill of her late sister or embrace him for the brash words she wished spoken for so long. She decided on neither and kept an unfazed expression. "That boy is dead to me, as long as that arrow I have no qualms of my sister's sacrifice,"

"Well it is because of your sister's _sacrifice _that this humble Jaken must see to the hanyou's safety, whenever the moon is secreted," he scoffed, obviously not content with his duty.

"Who orders ye to do this task?" she was curious, finding someone who didn't her sister in such high regard was seldom heard and almost made her want to befriend him, but to do so on such ill reasoning wouldn't suffice.

His chin heightened once more, "Lord Sesshoumaru of the Western Lands, himself,"

So Inuyasha's _half _brother has enough heart to care for his _afterlife_ being undisturbed? It was hard for Kaede to take this into consideration, she was raised with the many tales of the Western Lord and his heart of ice, stories of him shunning his own brother due to his sullied lineage and slaughtering villages for sport. Hearing he ordered protection for him just didn't seem to suit what she knew… well, _heard_ of him.

"I don't believe ye," Kaede stated skeptically, her single eye staring into his, looking for the slightest hint of a fib.

"You don't have to," he said simply, "just as me not having to believe your claim to being a miko,"

She raised her weapon with no real intention of shooting it, "Would ye care for me to prove my claim?" She bluffed; she was of course a miko in _training_.

Her bluff worked, he retreated back into the large root with a wide frog-like gaze, "This Jaken dies not wish to see proof just as I am sure you wish not to wait for my Lord's presence,"

She held back a snicker and lowered her bow, his timidity returned but he seemed to only fear her weapon and not her, hence his braggart response. She didn't mind though, this just made her hold more compassion for him… if you could call it that.

She surveyed the barrier that should have kept her out. From the inside it only shimmered with a dim glow and rippled like waves in a running river, it hovered like a liquid dome above the trees and surrounded the Goshinboku within a three trunk radius.

"From what did ye conjure this barrier, if ye would call it that," she question, without much thought. She glanced behind her at another bulging root and sat down as if she knew this demon for years. Instead of regaining eye contact, she looked upward as if to study the stars but it was foolish force field that now held her interest.

* * *

Jaken watched her, cautiously taking note on how she paced her weapon harmlessly in her lap. If he hadn't known better he would have sworn to Kami himself that this girl had gone mad. Her claim to being a miko did indeed shake him, but now after hearing her speak he had every reason to doubt her claim.

What miko spares the life of a demon, who declares him to be the right-hand man to a demon Lord and then commence conversation like they were having tea? Maybe it's in her blood to be so mindless around ones such as he. She _did _say she was sister to that wench Kikyou, who with no doubt held an absurd liking to the boy he now guarded.

He'd admit that the company wasn't exactly unwanted, it had been a good while since he spoke to a human without killing it; the last had to have been the retched hanyou's mother.

That's right; he can very much defend himself and even _offend _the "miko" if he truly wanted to. Though, she seemed to have come from that small village the boy used to terrorize and the last thing he needed was to corrupt it once more by burning this young girl to ashes.

She only looks like a mindless teenager, something humans horde by the many, which baffled him. How i _did /i _she get through his barrier, let alone sense anything in this area? He had made it especially so any who got too close would suddenly have the urge to do something else, or merely subconsciously avoid it. It should have given off the illusion of no disturbance in the hanyou and certainly no appearance of himself, but this miko... this _girl_ just happened to walk through and sneak up on him!

And now she asks him the base of his spell with mockery thick in her voice, as if she could have done much better when she doesn't even know the essential facts of a half-breed. A miko, she says, bah, if she is a priestess he would very well be a human. He'd admit that her aura did contain purifying energy, but it was very faint and obviously not awakened.

The bow did shake him a bit but, he may have exaggerated his fear of it. As long as she kept it in her lap and not pointed at him, he would be fine.

"If I tell you, what would it matter?" for a second time that night, he answered her question with another of his own.

She removed her gaze from above, _another oddity humans took into habit_, and looked at him with a single bronze eye and a sable cotton patch. "Well I am sure it would matter not, but I am surer that it was made so someone like myself wouldn't just get through it," again he could here a lingering mock in her tone.

"In the six years I have guarded this brat, not once has anyone detected my presence and I have yet to change my shield," he sat himself back on the large root he was on before she came about, resting his staff on his shoulder with his arms crossed he looked on.

She grinned, seeming to find humor in his claim, "Six years, ye says..." her eye suddenly looked somber as if stricken with grief contradicting the small grin that turned her lips. For some odd Jaken found himself concerned about why she now looked so saddened and close to wise when moments ago she was nothing but an empty-headed village girl, posing as a miko.

"It seems much longer since my sister laid to rest with that jewel," she shifted as if making herself comfortable and leaned back against the sacred tree's trunk, a human boy hanging just above her head. Jaken didn't seem to mind, he himself was suddenly finding comfort in her company and talking to another was something that seldom presented itself, on nights like these. The subdued atmosphere was somewhat, inviting.

"That thing was cursed I swear it, since it was burned with her body not one demon has brought terror my village. Now for my training we must look for demons to terrorize, irony is a funny little thing," he saw no laughter in her eye, though.

"I thought so," he stated plainly as if bored.

"Ye thought what?"

"You are just training to be a miko, not one _yet_,"

Her face flushed, an amusing expression, Jaken agreed... cute even, "I'll have ye know that my training ends this spring and I should still be seen as a threat," she muttered matter-of-factly, her cheeks becoming pinker and pinker by the moment.

"Bah, I want no trouble,"

* * *

End Part One of A Frozen Memory.

A.N. Second part to this should be up soon and I was wondering if anyone expected this :3. (curses her lack of updates). I know Jaken never looked like this But I have my own idea and a way to get him back to how he is originally. Hint: Think along the lines of a curse. Ta-ta for now Comments are welcome criticism is encouraged.


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